Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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