Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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