Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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