Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
