I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
