i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize