Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
3pm strippers are depressing
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
