She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
