1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
