last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
