I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
