I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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