yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
