Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Its about making memories worth repressing
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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