She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize