She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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