oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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