Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
