I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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