i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
