Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
