What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
