we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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