i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
