I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
