...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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