Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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