My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
