can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
