It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
