Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
