He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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