I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
