it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
