Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
