he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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