We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think people are normalizing furries
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize