i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
