You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
