Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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