Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The adults are the big ones right?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
