Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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