i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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