I wannas sexs uuuuu
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
