so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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