all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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