I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
