what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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