Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
