I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
