What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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