i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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