Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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