I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize