The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Randomize