mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
