there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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