dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
