It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
