i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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