JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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