my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
