yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
