Just cropdusted the office
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
