come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize