wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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