I will die if light touches me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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