let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
