Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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