if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
