oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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