the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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