I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
