Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
