Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
