I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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