i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
