dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
