I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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