you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
