you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
