Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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